I never really know what to do when the Ryder Cup comes around.
Unlike many (most?), I don't mind watching golf. It's a game of immense skill that I could spend the rest of my life trying to be good at without remotely succeeding, so I respect those people who can propel a small sphere around a gigantic course with such mind-boggling precision. Watching is easy.
Deciding who to support isn't. I'm not American - this much is obvious by the fact I can spell "colour", understand the LBW law and recognise irony as the supreme form of wit.
But then again, I'm not European either. I measure in feet and inches. My car, usually, can be found on the left side of the road. I have no dress sense. At all.
Of course, Britain is in Europe, and thus I should support Europe. Even though France is in Europe, and they suck.
But..."Europe" is the first word in "European Union", which I detest with a mildly unhinged passion.
But...Americans whoop, and holler, and like shit like NFL, and invented cheeseburger pizzas, and mangle our language in a positively Neanderthal fashion.
But...Europeans like socialism, have dodgy war records (either starting them, or dodging them) and keep beating us on penalty shoot-outs.
And so on.
So basically, I'm stuck. And watching sport as a pure neutral is a pretty sappy thing to do - you need to have someone to support. So I settled the issue in the only way I could think of: I put £50 on America at 11/8, and now I can cheer for them free of guilt.
Unlike many (most?), I don't mind watching golf. It's a game of immense skill that I could spend the rest of my life trying to be good at without remotely succeeding, so I respect those people who can propel a small sphere around a gigantic course with such mind-boggling precision. Watching is easy.
Deciding who to support isn't. I'm not American - this much is obvious by the fact I can spell "colour", understand the LBW law and recognise irony as the supreme form of wit.
But then again, I'm not European either. I measure in feet and inches. My car, usually, can be found on the left side of the road. I have no dress sense. At all.
Of course, Britain is in Europe, and thus I should support Europe. Even though France is in Europe, and they suck.
But..."Europe" is the first word in "European Union", which I detest with a mildly unhinged passion.
But...Americans whoop, and holler, and like shit like NFL, and invented cheeseburger pizzas, and mangle our language in a positively Neanderthal fashion.
But...Europeans like socialism, have dodgy war records (either starting them, or dodging them) and keep beating us on penalty shoot-outs.
And so on.
So basically, I'm stuck. And watching sport as a pure neutral is a pretty sappy thing to do - you need to have someone to support. So I settled the issue in the only way I could think of: I put £50 on America at 11/8, and now I can cheer for them free of guilt.
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